4 Ways to Get the Most Out of Couples Therapy

You must be all-in with the process. Whether therapy is your first stop or a last resort before giving up, in order to make it worthwhile, I ask that clients give it their best effort. Therapy will work best if clients can set aside their resentments and come out from behind their walls while in therapy, as long as they feel safe enough to do so.

Come with an open mind. In therapy, you will be asked to suspend your disbelief and be open to the possibility of positive change. Therapy may involve communication exercises, intimacy homework, referral to medical providers, and considering new ways of framing your issue. When clients are courageous by being open to the process, they often have surprising new insights.

Prioritize your appointments. It is important that couples commit to at least two therapy sessions per month for six months. This provides a chance for the therapy to work and communicates to yourself and your partner that this relationship is worth it.

Do the homework! The purpose of therapy is not to learn how to communicate perfectly only while in the therapist’s office – that is often the easiest part! The purpose of therapy is to learn how to communicate in real time – to be able to navigate obstacles and conflict as they arise, in the midst of daily life. For this reason, the homework is essential in solidifying gains.