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Recipes for Romance

Recipes for Romance (psychologically, intellectually, emotionally, and physically):

  1. Send sweet texts to each other, just because. Women often need a significant amount of psychological preparation before becoming intimate. One way to help prepare your mind is to start thinking about intimacy early in the day, perhaps with a loving note or text.  

  2. Do a physical activity together, such as a walk, a run, or a bike ride.  That's good for your mind, body, and relationship.  

  3. Cook together.  Then eat together. (Disclaimer: This is only romantic when there aren't kids eating with you).  

  4. Volunteer together.  Helping others together is a twofer! You get to do community service and strengthen your bond. You will likely see your partner in a more favorable light (when he is helping others), and that is known to boost oxytocin (your love hormone).  

  5. Establish an activity Jar.  Each of you jots down 5 or 10 ordinary things you'd like to do together.  Then once a week or so,  you could pick an activity out of the jar.

  6. Plan a weekly night to be intimate.  No, that doesn't mean you have to have sex. It means that you set some time aside to connect physically and emotionally and if that leads to intercourse, then fine.  If not, then that's okay too.  Is this spontaneous?  No, but if you wait for the desire to hit both of you at the same time, it might be a while!  Additionally, women need emotional intimacy to desire sex and men need sex to feel emotionally intimate.  If you at least have physical intimacy once per week, you might find that he is more emotionally intimate to you, which in turn makes you desire sex more.  

  7. Begin a book club for 2.  Decide on a book you both would like to read and then read it either aloud or individually.  Then decide on a time to talk about the book.  Having an intellectual conversation about a meaningful book could be a great way to increase your emotional and subsequently your romantic bond.  

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